There is something about this time of the year, and throughout all twenty years that I’ve lived so far, I still haven’t figured out why fall/winter does what is does to me. (You can read more about wProcessed with VSCOcam with t1 presetinter in my post from last December “smells like snow.”) My father says I’m crazy, that dark clouds and rain and 50° weather don’t make any normal human being happy. But he’s wrong, when have I ever been normal?—it does, all of my life one of the things that has remained constant is that winter and fall are my favorite seasons. That grey skies and dreary weather actually improve my depression whereas the heat and sun make it worse. It’s just who I am.

So when I woke up this morning with a chill down my body, not from the A/C, but from the air outside something in me shifteProcessed with VSCOcam with t1 preset
d. Just as it does every year, and shifts even more when the first snow of the season falls on my busy little city. But fall, oh fall. My lover on the side, how I adore you.

It’s not just the leaves that change during autumn, there is so much more.  Before you even know it, the temperature drops; you walk out of work one night and you’re suddenly wondering why you didn’t think to bring a jacket. Without even thinking about it you start ordering that pumpkin spice latte instead of the chai, and stay in to drink it rather than heading home. You use your windshield wipers more and the shift from A/C to heat in your car gradually changes without even a second thought. The Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetsweaters you love so much slowly make their way from the dusty top shelf of your closet onto your back and you don’t really care that you’re freezing your ass off 80% of the time. You spend even more time indoors (not that you spent much time doing the opposite) and visits the the movie theater, and art museums, and Barnes and Noble become even more frequent. Of course, homework begins to resurface and in your mind, on September first, the Hogwarts Express is about to leave King’s Cross station. You break out that dusty copy of your favorite book and read on your bed next to the window, feeling the cool air radiate off the glass, watching the colors of the world change and the sky seems to be constantly stirring, even on the clearest of days.

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—m.h.

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